001 | video

[divinacommedia]

[What can be seen is a certain redhead tilting his head, staring into the camera. He turns the journal in his hands, and at random intervals he's upside down- or just on his side. Eventually, Battler figures out which way it's supposed to go, and that it's been recording for a while.]

Ahh.... what's all this anyways? Put in a random place, wings on my back- given a journal to... to what? Communicate with the locals? Don't give me that!

Oi oi oi! You witcheeeees! Is this some sick joke...?! I was in the middle of a game, you know! I was doing something-! No no... I had something to do, a promise to fulfill to someone!

[A frown, but it could look like a pout.] ...It's useless... it's all useless...what do you want me to do, introduce myself or something? Okay, fine- I'll play your sick game you damn witches.

I'm Battler Ushiromiya, and I'm not about to take any of this lying down....!!

Comments

[video]

[catches]

Brendan, champion of tour guides, at your service! Nice to meet you and all, Battler.

[video]

[divinacommedia]

Oh! No honorifics or anything...? Okay, I'll bite. Nice to meet you too Brendan-!

[video]

[catches]

Hono-? [Oh. That crap.]

Yeah, nipping this in the bud here! I hear one mention of 'Brendan-san' and this tour is over.

[video]

[divinacommedia]

Wahaha! You got it pal, there will be none of that!

[video]

[catches]

Alright then!

So, like I said, welcome to Luceti. Youuuu'll probably be stuck here for a while, so start getting used to it.

Also, don't mess with the wings. Seriously.

You following so far? [Worst tour guide.]

[video]

[divinacommedia]

Yeah, getting it so far.

[no he's the best]

[video]

[catches]

[Perhaps Buttler has poor taste.]

< Good >! So, the wings. Those get hurt? You get hurt. No idea how that works.

Now as for this place, a buncha guys named the Malnosso bring everyone here; probably for experiments.

[video]

[divinacommedia]

[DONT EVEN ERIKA RIGHT NOW WITH YOUR < GOOD >...!!]

Right, if they come off I die...?

I've heard that name here and there, but it's just a bunch of people huh...? Weird.

[What do you think everyone? This reasoning is possible for Ushiromiya Battler.]

[video]

[catches]

[ < OOOOOOH YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! > ]

That's how the story goes, anyway.

A bunch of people with too much time on their hands and some kind of dimension-crossing... stuff. Yeah.

[< Hello everyone! > I am Brendan, the protagonist! I am a Trainer... and the fifth participant in this Pokémon Contest! Please welcome me warmly!]

[video]

[divinacommedia]

Seriously, it sounds like some sick hobby and we're all just test subjects.

In any case Brendan, at least I'm meeting some good people around here.

[I LOVE CHOPSTICKS!!!!]

[video]

[catches]

Pretty much, and that's not even getting into the draft stuff.

Thanks for the compliment, Battler. We've got a whole bunch of types of people here.

[STABBING INTO YOUR FOOD WITH A FORK, ISN'T THAT JUST BARBARIC???]

[video]

[divinacommedia]

The draft stuff...?! Aw man!

Yeah seems like it, it's going to be interesting for sure.

[I'VE PUT DUCT TAPE SEALS ON ALL THE DOORS, DON'T YOU JUST LOVE DUCT TAPE?!?!?!?]

[video]

[catches]

Yeah, I know. Random people get picked and shipped off to fight.

Better look forward to it, I guess. Run into anyone weird yet?

[AND I DID THE WINDOWS WHILE IN A SWIMSUIT!! DOESN'T MY WET LOLI BODY LOOK REALLY COOL AS I CLIMB THE WALLS?!??!!]

[video]

[divinacommedia]

Wait... shipped off to fight-? What's that about?

Not really, once you know witches everyone else seems normal by comparison.

[DUCT TAPE DRESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

[video]

[catches]

Well, that's really all I know; you could probably check the guide if you have to.

... Okay, have to admit witches are a new one on me. How about spiritualists?

[I, -NAME HERE-, HAVE DUCT TAPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

[video]

[divinacommedia]

Ihihi what about spiritualists..?

[SCAMPERS UP THE WALL IN A SWIMSUIT.]

[video]

[catches]

Ran into a few at Mt. Pyre! They're pretty good with Ghost-types, at least.

[I'M GOING TO PUT MY WEDDING RING ON YOUR FINGER AND IT'S NOT SYMBOLIC AT ALL!!!!]

[video]

[divinacommedia]

Ghost....types...? Sorry, now I'm having trouble following.

[OH WHATS THAT, ITS NOT FITTING...? /LICKS HIS FINGER!!]

[video]

[catches]

... Right, other worlds. Okay, my world has 'Pokémon', which you put into types. Ghost-types are one type of Pokémon, got it?

[]

[video]

[divinacommedia]

Pokémon huh...? Just what the hell are they though? Like... monsters? Demons?

[i am so fucking done with you star!!!]

[video]

[catches]

How about neither? If you really need to know...

[FLASH OF LIGHT BECAUSE STAR IS LAZY BOOM SWAMPERT IS ON-SCREEN.] ........ Before you say anything, he's not like Godzilla. At all.

[touches koz!!!]

[video]

[divinacommedia]

[JUMPS BACK AND AWAY FROM HIS JOURNAL...WHAAT THE FUUUUUUUUCK!!!]

Wh....what the-?! That thing looks so weird!

[punches star in the gut!!!]

[video]

[catches]

[FUCKING RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE.]

Hey, do you mind?! He's sitting right here!

[o-oh hurt me more kozzykins...]

[video]

[divinacommedia]

That... thing is a Pokemon?! It's... how can you not be afraid?!

[stuffs gag in your mouth????]

[video]

[catches]

Because that thing happens to be my pal, you jerk!

[k-kyaa koz you know how to push my buttons!!!!]